Maybe the guy in the cubicle
next to you smacks his gum all day,
or maybe he's a loud-talker. Could be your nemesis at work is
constantly complaining and spewing negative comments. Whoever is
bothering you at work can have the power to turn a good day into
a bad one. Reclaim your sanity and find your workplace Zen with
some tips on how to cope.
Is it them or you?
How do you decide who is truly difficult? A good test is this:
Does the person's behavior have an impact on your individual or
team performance? If not, it's eccentric, "rascally" behavior
and you need to manage your own attitude. If the person is
keeping you from doing your best work, it may be because of what
you're doing.
Next figure out why this person drives you crazy. Is it
something that "triggers" you or reminds you of your own issues?
It's important that you don't impose your own triggers or issues
on your coworkers. You have no right to darken the doorsteps of
colleagues with your own issues. If you realize you're
struggling with an issue, take action and get help.
Are they doing it just to piss you off?
When someone at work drives you batty, it helps to consider
whether there are generational, cultural or ethnic differences
that may be contributing to the clashes. The workplace has
become increasingly diverse which sometimes makes good
communication difficult, but even more important.
I am also of the opinion that people are hardwired with certain
personality characteristics, some of which can be extremely
annoying. Understanding how other people's brains might be
hardwired can help us cope with their seemingly bizarre (to us)
behavior.
And sometimes there's an underlying medical reason for a
coworker's bad behavior. The reality is that they may be
suffering from depression or undergoing medical treatment that
is affecting them. Consider the fact that the difficult person
in your work group may not just be difficult, but very ill.
When to shrug it off
So how do you deal? Sometimes, it's worthwhile to revert to that
time-honored teen behavior: the shrug. Pretend that you're a
self-absorbed adolescent and you'll find that you can simply
shrug and look the other way. It'll probably even feel great!
If the shrug doesn't work and the person is really keeping you
from doing your best work and you've done your best to ignore
him or her it's time to get serious about a solution.
Confronting your coworker
If you've decided you have to do something about a coworker's
annoying behavior, prepare for your conversation and have it
face-to-face, and in private. If you can't speak in person then
pick up the phone and have a real-time conversation, don't just
leave voice mails. And never, never, address the issue via
e-mail. Once relationships tank, e-mailing only escalates the
feud.
Before you meet, figure out exactly what your complaints are.
When speaking to your coworker, be as specific as possible.
Instead of asking them to change an attitude, spell out exactly
what the annoying behavior is and what you'd like them to do to
remedy the situation.
Tackle one topic at a time and focus on eliminating the biggest
problem or the easiest to solve. Then, after you've stated your
case, recap what you've spoken about, what you expect the other
person to do and then thank them for their cooperation and tell
them you look forward to a better working relationship.
Then what? Leave. Don't hover or nag, just go away.
By Lynne Eisaguirre
Is a coworker driving you crazy? Visit
http://www.workplacesthatwork.com for more tips. Lynne
Eisaguirre is a workplace expert, author of six books on
workplace issues, including the recent "Stop Pissing Me Off!
What To Do When People You Work With Drive You Crazy," and a
former employment attorney.
