More and more people are
ending up talking with divorce lawyers
these days instead of seeking help to "save my marriage", but
does it really have to be that way?
It's estimated that 52% of marriages fail for one reason or
another. It could be for bad reasons like abuse, both mental or
physical, infidelity or any number of other things but what is
the underlying cause of divorce and what can a person do to get
the help to "save my marriage"?
The reasons that a lot of couples split and seek a divorce can
be summed up in a few simple words.
Selfishness, when one or both of the parties involved in a
relationship thinks more about themselves than the other person.
This is a really one sided attitude that will keep a
relationship from being strong and loving.
If you are seeing things in your marriage going downhill, you
need to ask yourself, and answer honestly, am I being selfish
and only wanting what's best for me or am I doing everything I
can to give my spouse the attention and love that he or she
deserves without thinking about what I want?
Infidelity is the primary cause of breakup's in a marriage and
should be avoided at all costs if you truly want to save your
marriage. Infidelity goes right along with selfishness where you
or your spouse starts seeing another person because they get
treated much better and the spark that you felt seemingly is
rekindled.
This isn't love, it's more like infatuation and should be
avoided as it just creates more problems for those that are
serious about saving their marriage. There are two kinds of pain
that we are exposed to in our lives, physical pain and emotional
pain.
Physical pain from an accident hurts and can sometimes be
excruciating but emotional pain or heartache is the type of pain
that can cause you to feel hurt more than any physical pain
could ever do. Although emotional pain is not physical, it can
cause physical pain and it seems to be more painful than
anything that you have ever experienced in your life.
It causes you to be unaware of your everyday life by taking your
mind off of the things you do on a daily basis like eating
regular meals, paying your bills, enjoying your time off and
spending quality time with your friends and family. Drinking, or
drowning your sorrows, is another problem with emotional pain
and should be avoided at all costs.
Money problems can be another cause of breaking up a couples
marriage. Financial problems lead to arguments over almost
everything like not being able to pay the rent on time, not
having enough food for the month or not being able to go out and
enjoy life like you thought you'd be able to. Couples that
really want to save their marriage should adopt a policy of
"wants and needs" and work together to overcome their budget
battles.
So if you are thinking in the right direction of "I want to save
my marriage", there are a couple of things that you can do to
help start down the road to having a great marriage, even if you
think it's broken beyond repair. First, seek professional help.
This doesn't mean talking to your family or friends and laying
out your troubles to them. Go to a professional counselor that
can get you back on the road to a loving relationship.
Second, If you are already separated, don't push the other
person to get back together, that will just push them further
away. Take things slowly, a little at a time and talk
rationally. If things start to get heated, just back off and try
to talk at another time. Treat the other person with care and
respect even though you may be feeling slighted and hurt.
The key is to always give more than you take from your
relationship. If both parties can do that then neither one of
you will be yelling those dreadful words, "Help, Save My
Marriage"!
By Tom Munson
You know that you want to save your marriage, you've put too
much into it to simply let it go and there is help for you
available 24 hours a day 7 days a week online at
http://mountainswest.com/makingup
