Children have always been in a
hurry to grow up. Especially, when they reach those infamous
teen years. Those magical years when they seem to know more then
the adults around them. As a parent, this is often the most
trying time for us. Many of us still see our teenager as a child
and we forget that they are growing up and need to make their
own decisions. If we did our job while they were younger, they
will come to us for advice before making a decision.
In our society we are putting more
and more demands on our young people. We expect them to act like
adults, when the reality is, they're still children. How often
have you caught yourself telling your young child to stop acting
childish? When should we expect our children to act like adults?
Childhood last for a very brief time. Considering that many
people are living well into their 80s and 90s, childhood is but
a small portion of our lifeline.
Think about when you learned a
new job. You needed training, examples and time to understand
how to perform your job. Children also need training, lots of
good examples and opportunities to role play. This comes in the
form of play, chores, school work and examples of family
interaction to the outside world.
Children need support, adult
supervision and direction. They need to interact with other
children in their own age group. They need to explore their
world, as only a child can do. A curious child will ask many
questions. Be patient with them and try to answer those
questions without getting too technical.
It is not usually a good idea
to allow your younger teenagers to hang out with older teenagers
or young adults. Sometimes the influence can be harmful to an
impressionable young person. Be aware of who your teen's friends
are. Sadly, in the world of today we have too many bad
influences on our young people. Teen pregnancy is high in
comparison to 20 or even 10 years ago. Consumption of alcohol is
another sad statistic with teens. A growing issues is violence
among young people. These are all issues that parents need to be
informed about and to be aware of when raising teenagers. These
are the very problems that rob our young people of their
childhood.
As adults, we have often made
the comment that we wish we had half the energy that our young
children do. Children have limits too. Too many parents expect
too much of their children. They get them involved in many
activities trying to find what they are best at or to just keep
them busy. Of course some try to relive their own childhood
through their kids(or maybe they are trying to live the
childhood they never had). Allow your children to pick what they
want to do. Don't push them so hard. If they chose an activity,
make them aware that they need to make a commitment, but, don't
make it so difficult on them that they can't get out of it.
Sometimes, certain activities are not suited for all children.
Know your child's limitations and respect them when they tell
you that they're not interested in that particular activity. Let
them grow up at their own pace. Most children will be just fine.
We all have expectations for
our children. Some are based on getting good grades, so they can
get into the right college and get a good paying job. Some are
as simple as choosing the right friends or just to be a good
person. Remember that your child is unique. They are not you or
your spouse. Even though they may remind you of things you did
when you were young. They eventually form their own opinions and
have their own interest. Sometimes these are very different from
yours. Let them become who they were meant to be. Allow them to
be children. With proper guidance and good examples, your child
will grow into the person you expect.