There is a group of students
out there who think that they are pretty special. They
believe that they are automatically deserving of privileges,
leniency or special treatment and have even grown to expect
them. An attitude of superiority, disrespect and even
contempt for rules and authority is common. These students
always put their own wants ahead of the needs of other
people. They are spoiled and selfish.
Many of these students are
very bright and come from families that have given them
everything they wanted, fixed every little problem for them
and always came to their rescue when they got into trouble,
even when they were in the wrong. Because things were fixed,
smoothed over, covered up or made easy for them, they
developed smart mouths, cocky attitudes and unrealistic
expectations.
Unfortunately for them,
employers aren't looking for high maintenance,
undisciplined, self-centered and selfish high school
students, college students and recent grads to fill their
job openings. Employers are looking for students who can
take direction, work hard and fit into the team. In that
regard, they prefer employees who are willing to learn the
job, accept responsibility and do whatever may be required,
even the grunt work. Selfish students, who act like prima
donnas, are never in high demand. Their knowledge and skills
are always overshadowed by their immaturity, abrasive
personalities and disruptive behavior.
Because spoiled students
have rarely had to work for what they received, they can be
completely unprepared for life in the real world. Therefore,
wise parents take firm steps to prevent or deal with this
problem. Here are a few areas that must be addressed:
Concern For Others -
Selfish students always put themselves first. They think
only of themselves and have no empathy or understanding for
others, even their so-called friends. They use people and
build shallow, uncaring relationships. One way to prevent
this from happening is for parents to have their children
get involved in the local community. Families can volunteer,
teach, repair, build, serve, clean, share, donate,
fundraise, feed, shelter, job train, campaign and prepare
paperwork. Community service is a great learning tool.
Self-Discipline -
Disciplined students do things on their own and on time.
They get up on time, get dressed, eat breakfast, go to
school, do a good job with their school assignments and
perform their family chores. They know the difference
between right and wrong and usually do the right thing, even
in the face of peer pressure. Savvy parents teach the
desired behaviors and then positively reinforce that
behavior.
Responsibility - From an
early age, every student should be assigned his/her own
chores and responsibilities. Such chores could include:
Setting the table, making the bed, cleaning the room,
picking up toys, starting dinner, taking out the garbage,
doing the laundry, walking the dog, washing the car, cutting
the lawn, shoveling snow, taking care of the garden or any
other necessary family activity. Learning to be responsible
is a critical part of growing up.
Part-Time & Summer Jobs -
Working for someone outside of the family is an important
experience that every young person should have. Students
will learn about employer expectations and the consequences
of poor performance. At the same time, good performance will
usually be recognized and rewarded. In the workplace, social
skills and communication skills can be developed and
improved. It's a place where students can learn to accept
responsibility, discover what it means to be held
accountable and experience the pride of a job well done.
Participation In School
Activities - Team sports, student government and clubs all
provide opportunities to learn and grow. They require
interaction, sharing, teamwork, hard work and concern for
others. Parents should encourage their children to get
involved with activities where they can make friends and
build self-esteem.
Respect - Parents who don't
require their children to show respect for family members,
the elderly, teachers, friends, service providers, the
police, driving regulations, speed limits, cell phone use,
game rules, standards of performance and much more are
putting their children on a path to trouble and perhaps
failure. When students don't respect their own parents or
anyone else, things are bound to get out of hand. That's why
respect must be taught from an early age. That
responsibility can only fall to parents.
Honesty & Integrity - Can
people trust your children? Do they admit mistakes and
accept the consequences? Only when others know that your
children will do the right thing will they be trusted. When
students tell the truth and do what they say they will do
when they say they will do it, they will gain the respect of
others. Parents must set the example and hold their children
to a high standard.
Consequences - In the real
world, every word, action, attitude and behavior has a
consequence. This is an important lesson. Mistakes, poor
performance, lying, cheating, stealing, bad language,
disrespect and poor attitudes all have consequences outside
of the home. When parents overly indulge and spoil their
children, those children will find it difficult to learn
about consequences. Parents must be consistent when teaching
this lesson through the application of guidance, praise and
discipline.
Every student has a
reputation which has been built on past behavior. That
reputation will either work for them or against them.
Therefore, it is the parent's responsibility to guide their
children to a good reputation, one that will serve them
well, as they become young adults.
When parents consistently
spoil their children and fail to hold them accountable for
their behavior, those parents are obstructing their
children's development, damaging their character, impeding
their maturity and hurting their chances for success when
they must operate on their own. Children learn by observing
their parents and testing their tolerance of selfish and
hurtful behavior. That's why the best parents help their
children develop into honest, caring and productive
citizens. However, when parents fail to carry out their
parental responsibilities, their spoiled children will
struggle in the real world.
Visit Bob's web site:
www.The4Realities.com. Bob Roth is the author of The 4
Realities Of Success During and After College -and- The
College Student's Guide To Landing A Great Job.
