"Honey, I'm thinking of getting
rid of my car."
My heart skipped a beat as my mind raced and I blurted back at
Dad, "Really?"
"Yeah, I think it's time to give up driving. I'm afraid I'm
gonna hurt someone."
"Gosh Dad. I had no idea."
I knew Dad was slowing down
because recently he asked me to run a few errands, which was
totally out of the ordinary. But I was shocked by this
announcement.
"Well, if you want me to take
you to Car Max or anything, just let me know. I can do that," I
said.
"Oh, I think I'll get your brother to do that with me," he
offered. I guess that's more of a son than daughter chore. I'll
stick with picking up prescriptions and food and let my brother
do the car sale.
That was a couple weeks ago.
Car Max wouldn't give him what he thought was fair so he opted
to have a grandson sell it online and within days his car was
gone.
This is life changing. I can't
quite wrap my mind around the fact that Dad can no longer jump
in the car and go whenever he wants, ever. In the quick sale of
his car, he became dependent, and I find this terribly sad. He
can no longer take his friends and relatives to their doctor
appointments, visit them in the hospital, or do other kind
gestures he was so good about. He can't pick me up so we can
meet my sister for lunch. He can no longer stop by and visit me
while I'm working. He can't tote his grandkids around. He can't
jump in the car and head to the store or pick up a quick meal
which he did so often.
My family is fortunate that Dad
was wise enough to know when to give up the keys and did so with
grace. I know this isn't the case with many boomers having to
take the keys away from Mom or Dad. I've been in that boat too
and it was no fun. My MIL had macular degeneration and we had to
take her keys away before she was ready to give up her
independence. No fun! We felt like rats.
While grappling with the fact
that the only way Dad can get anywhere, is to have one of his
children or friends pick him up, I came up with a list of things
to do to help fellow boomers in similar situations learn how to
cope. Here's my list of the Top Eleven Ways to Embrace Living
without a Car.
Top Eleven Ways to Embrace
Living without a Car
- Notify family members and
friends and alert them about your loved one's life change.
- Talk to the local cab
companies and share those numbers and drivers with your
parent.
- Check with your local
Department on Aging to see if they offer transportation
for the elderly.
- Research to learn if there
are services for the elderly that can take them to nearby
adult day care.
- Locate local food stores
and pharmacies who deliver.
- Work with siblings and
friends and learn when they are available to drive your
loved one.
- Give your car-less parent
a list of when people are available to run errands with him.
- Plan ahead and set dates
for taking them on out of the ordinary outings like the
movies, a show, or even a Sunday drive. Give them something
to look forward to.
- Talk with neighbors who
may be able to pick up food or prescriptions while they run
their errands.
- Make sure your loved one
has a cell phone on their body that they know how to use in
the event of an emergency while out and about alone.
- Create a nice area outside
their home so they can sit outside and enjoy the elements.
Fresh air is vital.
By using this list and
communicating with your loved one, they should be able to relax
knowing that there are others who love and care about their new
life transition.
